The Stuterring Effect….
Do you ever have one of those moments where you wrap and wrap…and keep on wrapping your brain into something that just escapes your limits of reason? It can be an ordinary feeling…a deja vu effect…or it can be what I call a "Stuterring Effect".
Now, there is this place, not far from where I work, where a beautiful, petite, amelie-like predicament resides. Now, I am a doctor. You all know how arrogant and confident doctors are suppose to be. You all know how surgeons get aggressive and very difficult to suprise. You all know this. Because we live for suprises…we train for them. We’re like samurai warriors, slicing and dicing. You can come in…covered in blood…with your intestines hanging out…and your arms amputated…and we still move in a orderly manner. Carefully planning our day while moving with predatorial precision. We train for this sorta things. We live and breathe challenges like this. I have been faced with so much drama, cruelty, desperate situations, hopeless cases…and extraordinary circumstances in life…But never, do I often face a force so powerful…it robs me of my obsessive confidence.
I have it in good faith that this person is spoken for. But why does the sight of her eyes…her smile…that frustratingly curly hair…and that damn soothing voice shudders my arrogant butt to the ground. It’s not that I am interested in asking a ’spoken for’ person out…I guess she just has that effect on me. Kinda like the effect I get when I talk to my Boss(who dosent have curly hair)…My Parents…My beautiful Ex…and maybe God when I see Him. Her hypnotizing aura relentlessly breaks me up. And its funny…because I try to ignore her…so she dosent feel uneasy and bothered…so I don’t get in her way really…but you cant help but glance sometimes. I can ignore the prettiest girl around…especially when I am engage on something else…but I guess, like I said…their are some things in life you can never really figure out.
The funny thing is, I get to talk to her every now and then…but I think she is kinda weirded out by me…because I turn into a language illiterate idiot when I utter whatever 3rd grade elementary language I had…when I was in 3rd grade. It is just so frustrating that this person gives me the hiccups. And I try to resolve it by embarassing myself once. Good thing I am gonna be done with this exam in 3 weeks…then I can concentrate in cracking people’s chest open, and bathe in my obsessive illusion that I call confidence. Things can go back to normal and I can start being an looney adult again…Silly as it may sound, but these are very silly times…and I am still trap in a very serious silly highwire world right now…
